The Short Story July 31, 2008

Okay. I’m working on about three hours of sleep here. I’m one of those people that is zombified on five hours sleep and more or less comatose with less. How does Donald Trump do it!?!??! Is that why he thinks that hairdo is in any way acceptable??? Anyway, in order to minimize the wacko punctuation, spelling, and irrational digressions, let’s just drill down to the hard facts:

1. Meeting some dude a solid forty minute drive (each way!) from my house at 8:00 in the morning to turn in my company car, computer, and phone. Awkward.

2. Boss NEVER called me. NADA. Not an e-mail, a text, a postcard, an IM, a smoke signal, or an ESP message. Zero. Zilch. Dick.

3. Grappling with inner monologues such as, “Why do I feel I need to take a 13-week trip? How come everyone else is so satisfied where they are? It would be nice to just sit around and do nothing. What is WRONG with me? It won’t be summer when I get back. I love summer. Was that my exit?”

4. Got some insane idea to start a companion blog. It’s Patton Oswalt’s fault. And Lewis Black. It’s called “Random Thoughts From a Disorganized Douche Bag.” I know, I know.  I’m not from Long Island. What do I know about being a douche bag (or baguette)? It’s got ‘bad idea’ written all over it…

5. Tomorrow is the big pack. If I get enough sleep to remember and am thinking straight, I’ll make my first video for you. That’s right. Try to hold it together: A VIDEO OF SOMEONE PACKING!!! I think I hear the porn industry grinding to a halt…

Ultimate fighting or blogging: Which causes more brain leakage? July 30, 2008

If this isn't both the saddest and the cutest thing you've ever seen, you need to get your head checked!

This was the debate topic posed by Lewis Black tonight on his Comedy Central show. Patton Oswalt was called upon to argue that blogging is the root of all evil. Alongside some weak attempts at amusement, he did point out rather accurately that the average blog contains useless personal minutiae peppered with pictures of the blogger’s cat dressed as Harry Potter.

My own cat, Siddhartha, has way too much self-respect and street cred for that. This is what I get for naming him after the precursor to a deity.

However, Dozer, my Alaskan Malamute, is not so fortunate. Or bright. Or feline. So it is in that spirit that I present you with a photo of him dressed as Superman. Sit back and enjoy the warm, milky feeling of the brain melt…

p.s.

I did enjoy the potential blog name proposed by Patton: “Random Thoughts By a Disorganized Douche Bag.” I wonder if that’s taken???

Protected: A box of rain will ease the pain, and love will see you through

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Protected: Don’t let the door hit you on the way out July 29, 2008

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Protected: I’m sick of this…so you’re probably totally over it July 28, 2008

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Protected: I kind of wish I was making this up

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Protected: Going for broke…literally and figuratively July 24, 2008

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Protected: Executing “The 4-Hour Workweek” is not as easy as it sounds!

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