Wide Awake in Wonderland

We’re only dancing on this earth for a short while

Ultimate fighting or blogging: Which causes more brain leakage? July 30, 2008

If this isn't both the saddest and the cutest thing you've ever seen, you need to get your head checked!

If this isn't both the saddest and the cutest thing you've ever seen, you need to get your head checked!

This was the debate topic posed by Lewis Black tonight on his Comedy Central show. Patton Oswalt was called upon to argue that blogging is the root of all evil. Alongside some weak attempts at amusement, he did point out rather accurately that the average blog contains useless personal minutiae peppered with pictures of the blogger’s cat dressed as Harry Potter.

My own cat, Siddhartha, has way too much self-respect and street cred for that. This is what I get for naming him after the precursor to a deity.

However, Dozer, my Alaskan Malamute, is not so fortunate. Or bright. Or feline. So it is in that spirit that I present you with a photo of him dressed as Superman. Sit back and enjoy the warm, milky feeling of the brain melt…


I did enjoy the potential blog name proposed by Patton: “Random Thoughts By a Disorganized Douche Bag.” I wonder if that’s taken???


Back on the wagon June 24, 2008

Filed under: General bitching,Self-analysis — wideawakeinwonderland @ 11:28 pm
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The last few days have been something of a learning lesson on the dangers of getting out of the daily blog habit. I have no good excuse beyond a work-based trip and spotty wireless connection.  That, and once you’ve missed a day and then two days and then three days…it all starts to seem less urgent. Bad dog!

That stated, this is definitely something I need to bear in mind for Europe. I had already planned to buy a little computer (I’m strongly leaning toward the Asus EEE 4G) upon which to record my fascinating wordplay. Nonetheless, if I don’t actually post it every day, I may lose the interest of you, my non-existant readers!

You know, that makes me realize, this blog is a little bit like my presentation at work today: I’m here at the parent company’s annual users’ conference, and I prepared extensively for my one-hour speaking gig. Seriously, I not only adhered to the month-in-advance deadline for the PowerPoint slides, but wrote an entire white paper (13 pages!) on the same subject for those attendees who might not actually see my session. I was assured that the white paper would be placed in each of their binders after my slides so long as I got it in on time.

Meanwhile, yesterday, when I got here, I learned I was one of six presenters vying for the affections of 80 customers. Considering the late afternoon slot, and assuming that a certain number of people would be no shows of one type or another, I figured 12 was my fair share of bodies. I deserved a bare minimum of an audience of 12! A miniscule audience of 12 was my god-forsaken right!!!

Then I ran into my old boss (a woman who considers snipey meanness a hobby) and she informed me that she had only two empty seats in her session earlier that day – so maybe 24 people? This did not bode well for my somewhat intellectual presentation.

Meanwhile, here to think I was theorizing that 12 attendees may have been a bit greedy as this conference is also something of a three day drinking binge. I wasn’t sure how many people might be nursing killer hangovers, employing the hair of the dog, or simply in the hospital. Apparently all of them were in good enough shape to drag their sorry alcohol-soaked bodies to evil ex-bosses’ presentation!!!

But I digress…  Anyway, I think I got about the minimum that I felt I deserved – 12 people – although as I was speaking I started to realize that a solid four or five of them work for the parent company. Also, they didn’t put my white paper in the binders like they promised. And my descriptive seminar description, carefully crafted to compel and entice, was bastardized into something that sounded really damn boring.

So, as always, IHMJ. That, and I feel kind of like the tree falling in the forest. I’m busting my hump here, but no one hears a sound.