There are some things in life where there is no gray area: Cat Person or Cat Hater. Winner or Loser. Kosher or who cares. Capitalism or Communism.
Buffets,it seems, are such a thing. So is Las Vegas. You either love them or you hate them. And the two combined might be your heaven or your hell.
I happen to love Las Vegas. I don’t really gamble. I just like the lights and the energy and the sheer audacity of the place. It’s big, it’s bright, and it’s larger than life. It’s like a party that never ends. Similarly, I feel the same way about buffets. Particularly Vegas buffets. My favorite is the one at the Wynn, followed by The Paris. As much as I like being able to walk from New York to Paris to Venice in 45 minutes, I also like to see my pizza rubbing elbows with my California rolls, Alaskan crab legs, and prime rib. Buffets represent the glory of choice.
However, I have standards. And I don’t get excited about just ANY buffet. Like the one in Vegas Vacation where you decide between the green stuff and the blue stuff? Not so much. Or your average cruise ship? No thank you. That’s why it was probably a sight – even to myself to a certain extent – to see me going to town on the Gaia Garden breakfast buffet this morning.
Let’s be honest here. This buffet would’ve been laughed out of Circus Circus. It wouldn’t even be up to snuff at the Four Queens..but it was the first such morning feast I’d seen in almost three months. Sure the bacon was raw, and the eggs sunny side up – and made seven hours ago. Admittedly, the coffee was cold and the apples had cinnamon on them to hide the brown spots, but it was a big spread of sub par products, and the cost was included with my room.
Put it all together, and I was positively thrilled.
If you haven’t guessed, the last few weeks have been a little tough in the food department, and I’ve got some calories to make up for! Although I’m a fairly intrepid eater, and a big fan of the schwarma/kebap/gyro/kebab/souvlaki pita, I have seen and sampled some wares that would make your toes curl:
Pizza covered in canned corn
Pizza covered in canned corn, canned peas, and canned carrots
Pizza covered in canned corn, peas, and carrots and then taken over to a counter by the pizza cart and drenched in ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise (Surely this is dinner in hell?)
Schwarma (gyros) heavy with French fries (what IS that!?)
Sidewalk corn on the cob that looks (and tastes! Oh yes. I bought one like a fool) better suited to a scarecrow decoration than to eating
Sidewalk fried pig’s ears
I actually have to stop here, because even recalling some of this makes me feel a little ill….
That stated, I find myself particularly pleased with my choice of an all-inclusive option on Kos. Is the food wonderful? Well…not really. I’d say somewhere between public school cafeteria and cheap cruise. Is there variety? Ummmmmmm….not so much. All in all, the Greeks slap some stuff between pastry or grill meat. There you go. Greek food. And there are only so many variations on two songs.
But is there plenty of it? Check!
And it is free? Absolutely!
And is there unlimited horrible wine, cheap beer, and Greek ouzo? Oh yeah, baby.
And you can blame the third for the reason this post is so short.
So forgive me. I took good notes in Athens, and I have tales to tell. I just need to be slightly more clear-headed to write clean copy. So, tomorrow, tomorrow! It’s only a day away…