Wide Awake in Wonderland

We’re only dancing on this earth for a short while

Bring on the thought police November 18, 2008

fp938openb So yesterday someone was telling me about a doll that allegedly spouts pro-Islamic messages. My friend was meeting with a customer, the father of young girls, who had a doll in the office that kept repeating a ‘subversive’ message.

What’s that you say? Color me intrigued. Are the good people at Fischer Price actually Islamic fundamentalists!? The same people who created the beloved “Little People” of my youth!? Did anyone else have the Sesame Street set seen here? I seriously just had a a portion of my life flash before my eyes just looking at this picture.

Anywho, so as not to prime you into hearing something (because if I tell you what you’re listening for, you’re much more likely to hear it), go ahead and see what you think:

If you ask me, I really can’t tell what the doll is saying except “light” or “night” or “right” or something like that at the end. Otherwise, it sounds like babble. Annoying babble. And I think maybe she told me to rob a bank and send half the money to the NRA, but I could be imagining that part.

However, a lot of people think the doll is saying, “Islam is the light,” and they are FREAKING OUT. A small sampling of the reactionary knee-jerk (and poorly spelled) insanity from YouTube brings us such nuggets as:

  • “This doll obviously says “Islam is the light.” I can’t believe people aren’t fighting to get this trash out of America!”
  • “It definately says “Islam is the Light”!!! This is disgusting and outrageous! They startin to poison our children’s minds with this bullshit!”
  • “Well, it definitely says “Islam is the light”. Obviously another form of jihad. Outrageous.”

As for the comment about America, aren’t we a melting pot where everyone is welcome? “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble….etc.”

Personally, I think a nice heavy dose of tolerance is a good idea. If I had a kid, I’d run right out and buy them one of these. In fact, what I’d like to see is the “God – in whatever form you perceive Him or Her to be – is great” doll, which perhaps features a series of phrases like:

Islam is the light

Hinduism is hot

Rasta is remarkable

Buddhism is brilliant

Judaism is joyful

Christianity is cool

Shintoism is the sh*t

Paganism is powerful

Why not give atheism a try?

and then back around again to “Islam is the light.”

This idea you can have for free. I’ve got more important projects to work on. Like deciphering the Satanic messages in Stairway to Heaven (played backwards, of course).


Semi-random thought: I wonder if you played some kind of intentionally dark, Satanic death metal backwards if you’d get a hymnal or part of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians?    😉


4 Responses to “Bring on the thought police”

  1. Abby Says:

    I cheated and read ahead before I listened to it, so maybe I was “lead” but I totally heard it. I mean, the rest of it sounds “goo goo gaa gaa” but that part really sounds like words. I have no problem with it saying anything. If it said “I hate Jesus” I wouldn’t care either. My thoughts – If you don’t like it, don’t buy it for your kid!!

  2. wideawakeinwonderland Says:

    I laughed out loud at the thought of a doll saying, “I hate Jesus.” People would be burning down Wal-Marts! Too hilarious.

  3. Quirky Indian Says:

    Completely agree with Abby – don’t buy it if you feel it’s not right. Why such a fuss?

    And liked your list – so here’s yet another brilliant idea for a new career. Writing slogans for talking dolls. You’re on a roll!


    Quirky Indian

  4. savanvleck Says:

    I read ahead too but I heard giggles and occasionally mama. The only two times I thought it could have been interpreted as Islam, is the light, it was only saying three and four syllabils. What gets me, besides the nut cases who have nothing to do but find pornography in Disney movies and devil lyrics in records, is that in this day and age of electronic technology that they can’t make a baby doll that speaks clearly. Well, okay, so babies can’t, but if it caused my company this much trouble, I would do it.

    Oh, and frankly, if I was a baby and some idiot kept waving their hand in front of my face, I’d have something to say about that too. But it would start with #%^$$.

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