Wide Awake in Wonderland

We’re only dancing on this earth for a short while

Either someone is playing a joke on me, or I have a secret admirer with strange taste in gifts November 17, 2008

1515309I used to travel three or four days a week for my old job, and as a result I developed a pretty serious magazine habit. I soon realized that subscriptions were far cheaper than buying individual copies at the airport, and before you know it, my mailman was wearing a weight belt and cursing my name.

For a while there, I was receiving pretty much anything that had to do with fashion, running, travel, gourmet cooking, and maintaining your physique despite gorging on your own gourmet cooking. The quantity was well beyond what a mere mortal with a full-time job could read, so I started to let some of them lapse.

Thus, I actually do know what I’ve paid to receive at this point, and I was surprised to return home and find some new additions in my magazine pile:

  • Eating Well: Where Good Taste and Good Health Meet

If you want to eat healthfully but aren’t willing to give up your appetite for mouth-watering dishes and heavenly treats, EatingWell is your ultimate companion. The innovative team of researchers, editors and health professionals behind the publication of EatingWell infuse fresh fruits, vegetables and whole wheat into classic recipes to serve up an array of delicious, vitamin-packed meals. With essential tips on eating and shopping, EatingWell is a reminder that cooking great, nourishing meals for the whole family can be easy.”

This is fine, albeit a little unappetizing at times. I do think the average European would get a good chuckle at an entire magazine dedicated to cramming vegetables and whole wheat into regular recipes, but such is the American way.

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  • Caribbean Travel + Life

All of your vacation wishes and dreams come alive in Caribbean Travel & Life! Whether you’re looking to retire to the breathtaking, relaxing Caribbean or you have a well deserved week off from work and you’re looking to discover the Caribbean, Caribbean Travel & Life is your magazine. Discover the alluring resorts, nature, and romantic getaways. Plan your dream vacation.”

I would probably enjoy this a whole lot more if I were a millionaire, but the pictures are pretty.

  • Spa: Healthy Living, Travel, & Renewal

With SPA Magazine, you’ll discover the latest advances in self-care, beauty, healthy living and relaxation plus thousands of wonderful ways to pamper yourself at home. With each issue you’ll travel behind the doors of the most luxurious and private retreats for an insider’s look at their amenities and features. Get practical advice on how to select and plan your spa vacation. Leave your hectic day behind, relax and have fun with life-enhancing how-to information and features on health, beauty, travel and more.”

Ditto. I have never been on a spa vacation and it’s unlikely there’s a trip to Golden Door or The Spa at Pebble Beach in my near future. On the upside, I don’t really have too many hectic days lately, so I guess I can just focus on the articles about pampering myself at home.

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So at this point, it seems like a theme. A theme involving a fancy and indulgent lifestyle, but with touches of health and well-being. But that’s when my new Secret Santa decided to throw a wrench in the works with:

  • American Legacy: The Magazine of African-American History and Culture.

Huh?

I don’t get it. What does African-American history in Philadelphia and traveling on the Louisiana Black Heritage trail have to do with spas and healthy food and beaches? If this is a riddle, it’s well beyond me.

That stated, I’m just hoping Soldier of Fortune doesn’t arrive tomorrow. The mailman doesn’t much like me as it is.

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