Wide Awake in Wonderland

We’re only dancing on this earth for a short while

Stock market takes bottle of pills, sets self on fire, and jumps off bridge November 13, 2008


Then lands safely in a raft floating slowly toward a waterfall…


I’m getting exhausted with all these “Stock market plummets!” and “Stock market even worse than yesterday!” and “Wait! Stock market a little better today!” headlines. I don’t even read the stories – let alone dare to open my 401K or Scottrade statements – but I still can’t seem to avoid the overview provided whenever I log into my Yahoo mail account.

From the looks of things, pretty soon we’re going to be waiting in bread lines and rationing toilet paper. Nonetheless, I’m still clinging to hopes of book deals or plain old well-paid fame, but a few more months of this, and you may find me working the breakfast shift at Denny’s. Did I mention I have an MBA?


Thus, I think I’m going to give the real world the old heave ho. My dad sent me the link to this thing “Second Life” today, and a whole lot started to come clear. Who needs reality anyway? If you ask me, it’s quite overrated.

So what is Second Life, you ask? Well, per the site (http://secondlife.com/whatis/):

“Second Life® is a 3-D virtual world created by its Residents. Since opening to the public in 2003, it has grown explosively and today is inhabited by millions of Residents from around the globe.

  • From the moment you enter the World you’ll discover a vast digital continent, teeming with people, entertainment, experiences and opportunity. Once you’ve explored a bit, perhaps you’ll find a perfect parcel of land to build your house or business.
  • You’ll also be surrounded by the Creations of your fellow Residents. Because Residents retain intellectual property rights in their digital creations, they can buy, sell and trade with other Residents.
  • The Marketplace currently supports millions of US dollars in monthly transactions. This commerce is handled with the inworld unit of trade, the Linden™ dollar, which can be converted to US dollars at several thriving online Linden dollar exchanges.”

Wha…???

What’s that you say? The virtual dollars can be converted to REAL dollars? So I can hang out in pretend land and do whatever the hell it is people do there all day and somehow make money selling god knows what? This is starting to sound less like a crackpot dream and more like a sound financial strategy every second!


So for the next few months if I start to refer to myself as “The Donald” or just “the man” and talking about Melania (sp?) and Baron and my life as a real estate tycoon, just relax and know that I’ve checked out of the real world and into Second Life. Nothing to be alarmed about. Just trying to distract myself while we ride out this financial crisis.


Remember, investing in the stock market is a marathon, not a sprint. And marathons are painful.

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4 Responses to “Stock market takes bottle of pills, sets self on fire, and jumps off bridge”

  1. Maxxy Says:

    Work sucks anyway. You have an MBA ?? Well why didn’t you say so before ?? Just repeat after me…….. ” Would you like Fries with that ?? ” ROFL….. ( sorry, couldn’t resist )….

    A Friend told me about Second Life about 3 or 4 years ago, but I never really got into it. Sounds like you could use the old ninja skills and become a professional hitwoman. You could make loads of dosh, then turn it into real money. ( shifty eyes – Hmmmmm…..where that link ?? LOL )….

  2. O-Zone Says:

    I am sick and tired of reading about every little fluctuation in the stock market, as if the life and death of civilization as we know it is at the edge of the cliff. Ok – I admit that newspapers should probably write about Iceland going bankrupcy, or real news like that – but why is it that I have to read that some stocks on companies I have never even heard of before is now going a little bit up, or a tiny bit down?

    Well heck – I thought that was the essence of stocks? It’s a rollercoaster that goes up and down once in a while. And the lottery is all about buying when stocks are low, and selling when they are high? Everybody that saw Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd in 1983 knows that!

    Some days ago a major newspaper in Denmark (where I am from) actually printed a huge newsflash, that the stock rates sustained status quo … whoa – that is really interesting news guys!! Tell us more – nothing happened you say?

    It reminds me of that everything-is-ok-alarm Homer Simpsons invented in episode #5F21

    Hear ye! Hear ye! Nothing has happened at the stock market today!

    I think I just might reconsider that second life thing … a bit reallity escape seems in order here? 😉

  3. wideawakeinwonderland Says:

    “Would you like that super-sized?”
    Years ago, I had a hilarious friend who once said, “Show me someone with an English degree, and I’ll show you a waiter.” (sorry Mom)

  4. wideawakeinwonderland Says:

    Greetings O-zone and welcome to the blog! I love your name, and checked out your blog, but my Danish isn’t what it should be so…
    I am a HUGE Simpsons fan, so I’ll need to pull out my Season Five DVDs and check out the “everything is okay” alarm, as the gray matter apparently decided that was a memory worth purging.
    I did read some more alarming Second Life Yahoo news this morning that has me pretty convinced their ‘universe’ is populated with nothing but weirdos and wannabes, so consider yourself warned and proceed at your own risk…


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