Forget ‘Renegade’, I like ‘Count Chocula’ November 12, 2008

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So first off, how is it a code name if everybody knows it?

I think that might be a Buddhist koan, like “When the many are reduced to one, to what is the one reduced?” or “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” Quite possibly, one of you has just achieved enlightenment while pondering that…

Meanwhile, the Secret Service recently released the recently assigned ‘code names’ for the new presidency:

“Renegade” (Barack), “Renaissance” (Michelle), “Radiance” (Malia) and “Rosebud” (Sasha).

Soon to move out of the White House are Tumbler (like the kind you put whiskey in?) and Tango. The twins went by Twinkle and Turquoise (but I don’t know which was which).

Looking back at years gone by, we find that Clinton was Eagle, Hillary was Evergreen, and Chelsea was Energy. Ho hum.

• George Sr. and Barbara were Timberwolf and Tranquility.
• Ronald Regan was Rawhide (no doubt the most apropos of the bunch) and Nancy was Rainbow. I also learned that “Rosebud” has already been assigned out to Maureen Reagan, so if Maureen and Sasha are ever at the same event, prepare for some mass confusion.
• Jimmy and Rosalyn were “Dasher” and “Dancer”, respectively but they dropped the ball with Amy and went with Dynamo. What’s wrong with Vixen or Comet!? Donner? Blitzen?
• Gerald Ford and his wife Betty were – Passkey and Pinafore. Hindsight indicates “Dumber” and “Drunker” might have been more apropos, but live and learn.

Anyway, we’re obviously seeing a pattern here. Apparently the tradition is to keep the code names starting with the same letter, but if you ask me, that’s barely one step above naming Hurricanes.

Personally, I’d like to see a little more of a nod toward pop culture. It’s a brave new world. Let’s get the kids involved. What’s wrong with a little Southpark? Chef, Butters, Kenny, and Tweek?

Or perhaps you prefer  Disco Stu, Monty, Homer, and Apu?

A stroll through the local grocery suggests all kinds of ideas: Velveeta, Twinkie, Chef Boyardee, and Juicy Juice, perhaps?

Count Chocula, Trix, Fruity Pebbles, and Wheatabix?

Hmmmmmm….  I don’t know about you, but I’m digging the Count Chocula. Barack would make an excellent Count Chocula. If I were the Count Chocula people, I would be working hard to make this happen. Maybe a year’s supply for everyone in the household?

You know, it’s even possible to stay within the flavors of monster cereal and take care of the whole family: Count Chocula, Yummy Mummy, Frankenberry, and Boo Berry.

Houston, I think we have a winner!